Series
Two-spot occupations, curbside entitlement, and gas-pump squatting with diplomatic immunity.
The recurring crimes of men who believe asphalt is private property.
Case file
The running archive of this particular public behavior disease.
Because his mid-tier SUV is apparently a museum piece.
This fucking guy parks across two spots like the whole lot is valet-reserved for him.
He angles across both lines like he is protecting the crown jewels, then walks into Target wearing flip-flops and no visible urgency.
He has appointed himself the pace car for humanity.
This fucking guy does 55 in the left lane and thinks everyone else is the problem.
He plants himself in the fast lane, ignores the 12-car funeral procession behind him, and acts shocked when anyone passes on the right.
The gas station is not your personal long-term parking garage.
This fucking guy treats the gas pump like a reserved parking spot.
He finishes fueling, leaves the car right there, and heads inside for snacks like the six cars behind him are just part of the scenery.
The return corral is ten feet away and somehow that is too much cardio.
This fucking guy leaves the cart beside your car instead of walking ten feet.
He unloads the groceries, gives the cart a light shove toward your bumper, and leaves like he just completed a civic duty.